Donovan's Struggle, an Erotic Romance Novella (Anam Céile Chronicles)

  Donovan’s

  Struggle

  Rosalind Scarlett

  “How am I to be the man I have determined to be fer her when the lusciousness of her curves tempt me endlessly?”

  Donovan O’Connor has been in love with feisty redheaded Aislinn MacAuliffe since the first time he laid eyes on her— when they were both just practically children. Nonetheless, he told himself to forget about it, never imagining she would ever actually feel the same for him. Now she does and even more unbelievably, she is his! What can he do to prove himself worthy of her love?

  To overcome his past, he has sworn to do everything right by her, including not robbing her of her virginity before they are wed. If he can do only one thing right in his life, he will do this. But Aislinn is making it harder on him by the day, forever enticing him as no suitable lady should. When they are caught in a heavy thunderstorm and must seek shelter— and shed their soaked clothes— will he be able to maintain his fortitude or will her provoking and his overwhelming desire for her get the better of him?

  Donovan's Struggle is an Erotic Novella focusing on an individual character from Cailín, Book I of the Anam Céile Chronicles, a series which centers around true love, soul mates, self-discovery, loss, vampires, lust, and the faith in reincarnation set in the lush backdrops of rugged Ireland, beautiful, culturally rich Italy and Florence, amongst others.

  Chapter One

  Despite the fact that Aislinn MacAuliffe was endearingly awkward as a young lass, an intense draw I felt towards her, as though pulled by a magnetic force which I was utterly powerless to resist. Always I did distinguish that she was unique— perhaps even otherworldly somehow, if that is even possible— though never did I quite put me finger on just what it was. Nonetheless, that lass had smitten me.

  And then seeing the way in which Aislinn had blossomed into womanhood, oh my God! Every time I did see her, I had to fight against staring at her chest, finding meself assessing how her breasts seemed larger with each time, me eyes were involuntarily drawn to them, the shape of them protruding under her garment, as though they called out for me, me hands longed to know the feel of them, to knead them, me mouth hungered fer the lusciousness I knew was contained there.

  After all, the first time— and each time thereafter— that I found pleasure by me own hand, me arousal had been provoked by thoughts of her, mere imaginings of the mesmerizing curves of her body which even the loose-fitting garments with which she covered herself did little to hide.

  If she were to know the debauched musings of her which me mind entertained, surely she would have thought me the filthiest scalawag. Likely she would have told me to be gone from her sight and never spoken to me again.

  Nonetheless, please do not be misguided as to me feelings fer Aislinn. While me attraction to her was indeed unparalleled, the pure love which filled me heart fer her was even more yet. From the first time I laid eyes upon her, even from afar, I was intrigued by her unmistakable spirit. Then, years afterwards, when I was introduced to her fer the first, even though she was exceedingly gawky, still I was instantly besotted by her presence.

  The next season, me duties as a veterinary apprentice did not keep me as occupied as they customarily had. Thus, I created excuses to visit the farm of her father so that I may have the opportunity to see her, just be in her presence, each time merely sustaining me through to the next time. To me dismay, on several occasions when I paid a visit to her father’s farm, Aislinn was not there, her father always gruffly complaining how she passed her days wandering through the surrounding lands mindlessly guided by her sidhe family who would soon be coming back to fetch her. With each word that left his mouth, I bristled. How I resented the way he spoke of her, his very own daughter, at that!

  On one occasion, at last she was present when I arrived at the farm, this time at the request of her mother, to examine Morrissey, their old workhorse, fer illness. Despite her father’s warning, Aislinn followed me about the farm as a lamb, her eyes glued to me every move, making me so nervous I could scarcely concentrate on me duties. Though at the time I attributed it to me hopeful imaginings, I felt as though she were devouring me with her desirous eyes. Yet, I had to silently admonish meself. As a mere lass of fifteen she was, not only was it highly unlikely she would be harbouring a desire as that quite yet, it was indecent of me to be regarding her in such a manner!

  When the time had come fer me to be on me way, she followed as I walked towards me horse. Lifting her hand to me face, I planted a delicate kiss upon it, inhaling the scent of her skin, committing it to memory so that I would have something more to carry me through the long span of time ‘til again I would see her. I delighted in her reaction as I observed her sharp intake of breath, her eyes glazing over, her skin quivering. With a smile, I bid her farewell, and mounted me horse. As I departed, I could feel her eyes affixed to me until I was too far out of sight, me feelings fer her soaring high. Fer the first time, I held hope that she may actually feel the same fer me as I had fer her.

  Still, regardless of the deep feelings I held fer Aislinn, fully aware I was that I must tread carefully if I was to acquire the approval of her father. Though he seemed to have great respect fer Doctor O’Connor— me grandfather whose care I had been in since shortly after birth— I did not presume that was sufficient fer him to overlook what I was, a bastard. Me mother had conceived me out of wedlock, and as a result, I had spent me life bearing the consequences.

  It was me mission to portray to Mister MacAuliffe that I held only the most honourable of intentions fer his daughter and I would do nothing to give him any reason to ever refer to me less than honourable origin. To prove meself worthy of her love, I vowed to do right by Aislinn, despite me unfavorable standing in decent society. Never would I bring even the slightest hint of disgrace upon her.

  Having just had her sixteenth birthday, she was at the appropriate age to receive a suitor. Thus, when I heard word that Aislinn would be performing at the Annual Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival, in addition to finally being able to witness the talent of her fiddling, I decided it would be the perfect opportunity in which to make me declaration of intent to court her. And though, as always she never failed to surprise me with her reactions, me decision to declare meself to her proved to be a wise one. From that day forth, we delighted in becoming better acquainted with one another, me love fer her growing stronger than ever I believed possible.

  Still, I could not help but feel her father was merely putting up with me presence as we spent time together. Therefore, I suppose I should not have been shocked in the least the morning she came staggering into Ballyvaughan, crying frantically as she disclosed to me how her father had arranged a marriage between her and Aengus, a wealthy old gent in town with eight children. And though the idea of her marrying someone else ripped me heart from me chest, still I found meself questioning whether Aislinn settling fer someone as me was truly the best thing fer her. After all, with her incredible beauty, she could certainly have any gent she set out to, many of whom could certainly provide her with a far better life than I could.

  Still, selfish man that I am, I could not allow her to be forced into marriage to that corrupt old scoundrel. Therefore, I consented to drive her that eve to her cousin Deirdre’s residence in Galway where Aislinn had intention of remaining, in hopes that her father would not pursue her, happy to just be rid of the burden of her under his roof.

  Deciding she deserved a pleasant respite from all she had endured, the following autumn after Aislinn had absconded her father’s control, I took her
on a trip to the Aran Islands. While there, I took note of her extraordinary fascination in spotting the Cliffs of Moher off in the distance— though how ‘twas she could see them so clearly perplexed me, as none of us could from that vantage point. ‘Twas that moment I knew I would take her there on her birthday and propose to her. But, first things first. The prospect of an event as that would be determined by her reaction when I declared me love to her on the Island as planned.

  Our second night there, I took her for a stroll at twilight. Suddenly, I stopped and spun her towards me so quickly she startled. Me eyes brimming with love, fer the first time I began to utter the words which had consumed me heart fer so long, “Aislinn, I lo—”

  Disturbing me profound declaration, she chose that most inopportune moment to sneeze. Appearing embarrassed, she looked up at me and replied, “Sorry, what say you, Donovan?”

  I had to stifle me chuckle. And before I could repeat the words, a look of stunned realisation transformed her face. “Oh, Donovan!” she squealed, throwing her arms about me. When she looked up at me again, her eyes were brimming with tears. “You cannot conceive of how long I have waited to hear those words come from your lips!”

  Our eyes met as she pulled back to look at me, me arms wrapping tight about her. The first tear escaping down her cheek, I leaned forward and kissed it away, tasting the saltiness upon me lips. She closed her eyes as I did, and rather than stop there, I went on softly kissing down her cheek. Upon reaching the corner of her mouth, I felt her suck in her breath. Then moving me lips to hers, I pressed into them softly.

  Aislinn’s lips quivered beneath mine, and patiently I awaited the invitation from her to proceed. Her shock dissipating at last, I felt her mouth soften, so tenderly I began to caress her luscious lips with mine. I celebrated the moment I felt them let go of all their apprehension and give in to mine. Her whole body began to relax and fall into me, her tongue began to beckon me in and I followed willingly, relishing this first delectable taste of her.

  Fer some time, we remained in that, our first embrace.

  “That day at me father’s that you touched me hand, I think I knew you loved me then,” she confessed. I could not prevent the candid smile which came onto me face then.

  “Aislinn, always have I loved you, since the day first I did see you in your father’s barn,” I affirmed softly, stroking her cheek with me fingertips.

  She gazed at me incredulously, her eyes searching mine fer confirmation.

  “Why then, did you hold me off fer so long?” she asked me.

  “Oh, Aislinn. I knew there was something special about you, and desperately I did wish to become better acquainted with you, trust me,” I spoke the words with utter sincerity. “But, you were still so young. I had to wait.”

  “Wait fer what, exactly?” she snapped at me impatiently. “I’ll have you know I had already waited years to merely lay eyes upon you!”

  Leave it to Aislinn to go from loving to irritated in the blink of an eye. Blame it on her red hair, I do.

  “Me apologies that you had to wait longer than I,” I turned me eyes down. “But I had to do it right, wait fer you to be of the proper age. I hoped to gain your father’s approval . . .” I started to rationalize, yet I know where that left me. Never did we gain her father’s blessing.

  “Why is everyone always so overly concerned with being proper?” she queried, exasperated. “Can we not simply do what we feel?”

  “’Tis just the way things are, Aislinn,” I spoke softly, stroking her hand in attempt to smooth things over. “What kind of world would we live in if everyone were to act upon their feelings?”

  “Happier, doubtless!” she retorted. “I just don’t see what would be so wrong with it!”

  Having nothing left to say on the matter, I gazed at her and sighed, patting her hand. While I loved her childlike naivety, also could I see where it may lead to the occasional dilemma.

  Aislinn’s eighteenth birthday fast approached. As planned, I whisked her away to the Cliffs of Moher to propose to her. How I treasured seeing the elation upon her face when she realised where it was I had brought her. And her fearless spirit never ceased to amaze me as she wished to stand right at the edge of the cliff to look out at the raging sea below. Fearing fer her safety, I held onto her tight. I seized the opportunity to begin wooing her with me words, anxiously working me way towards the proposal.

  “Trust in me and you will find a heart so true,” I promised her. “All I wish is to give the best of me to you, be the man you deserve, if you’ll allow me to be by your side always.”

  Forever enthralling me with her mystical behaviours, Aislinn lifted her hands from caressing me, relishing the feel of the breeze whispering through her fingers. A smile materialized upon her face as she leant her head back, the wind sweeping her thick hair back with it. So enchantingly beautiful she was! Never could me eyes grow accustomed to taking in the extent of her beauty.

  Me eyes still affixed to hers, I worked me hand through her mane, grasping the back of her head, and lifted her face upwards to bring her lips to mine fer a deep kiss. Rarely requiring any encouragement in this, she returned me kiss with fervour.

  Slowly, she lifted her lips from mine, allowing her eyes gaze upon mine, tracing along me face with her finger. “Here in this very moment, ‘tis exactly where I am meant to be, right here with you,” she confided to me in a whisper.

  “Aislinn, your hair it is magnificent with the wind in it, your eyes as bronze jewels, your lips a magical world, me true escape.” Me eyes deepening with intensity, I expressed to her the true sentiments of me soul. “A goddess you are! And I cannot believe I am lucky enough to have you to love me!” With me heartfelt words, her eyes melted under mine.

  “I want you infinitely in me heart, Donovan. When I look into your eyes, I see all I need. The person I aspire to be is everything you are. I know all I need is this.”

  “Oh, Aislinn! You are so much more than you know,” I told her, whispering the words to emphasise how they mattered. How can she possibly aspire to be more than what she is here and now, when to me she encompasses the universe and stars?

  “I’ll remain beside you ‘til the last beat of me heart . . .” I affirmed to her.

  Instead of the heartfelt sentiment I intended, she seemed to find offense in some way.

  “If you were to cease to exist,” she stated clearly, “so would I.” The troubled expression upon her face told me she was utterly serious!

  “There is no if,” I stated plainly. “Just when,” me voice was poignant in its sincerity.

  “No!” she cried, her eyes full of naïve skepticism. “Together forever we must be!”

  Then she simply buried her face in me chest, and whimpered.

  “We will always have forever in each moment we share together. Fer these moments are all we truly have. In the end, life is merely just a collection of moments, is it not?” I expressed in an attempt to encourage her. I disliked nothing more than seeing Aislinn not of her characteristic jubilant self.

  I know what I can say to bring her back. What better time than now?

  “Aislinn,” I whispered tenderly, lifting her chin so that ii could gaze into her eyes. “There is something I need to say to you.”

  Still pouting, she lifted her eyes to mine and waited.

  “Incredible ‘tis. To see the sunrise in your eyes, no matter the time of day! I aspire to awake to that sunrise each day of me life.” Taking her delicate hand within mine, I dropped down to one knee, holding the ring within me hand, nervousness settling in me gut. “Aislinn MacAuliffe, I love you with all I am and promise to fer all the days of your life. Will you do me the grandest honour of becoming me wife?”

  Her hands flew to her gaping mouth as she squealed, “Donovan!” I embraced her as she dropped down to fall into me arms. As she showered me face with her kisses, she cried, “Do you mean it? You truly wish me to become your wife?”

  “Of course I do, Aislinn!” I responded
devotedly. “I could not have hoped fer a more beautiful, more perfect woman to make me wife.” Every second seemed a lifetime as I awaited her response.

  “What is it, me love?” she probed, searching me eyes.

  “You do know how to keep a fellow on his toes.”

  She peered at me inquisitively, clearly not comprehending the reason fer me statement.

  “You have yet to respond to me proposal,” I clarified with a hopeful smile.

  “Oh Donovan!” Aislinn cried with glee. “Indeed, I will marry you! And to have you fer a husband will make me the most fortunate lass that ever lived!”

  Relieved at finally hearing her response, a smile erupted across me face.

  Then I remembered the ring still clutched within me hand. Looking down, I opened me hand to reveal the dainty gold ring. Nipping it between me thumb and forefinger, I picked it up and presented to her the symbol of me commitment.

  Raising her other hand, I found the fourth finger upon her left hand, and carefully slid the ring onto it. Gazing deep into her eyes, I whispered, “Aislinn, I love you more than me own life.”

  Chapter Two

  Of course, had I been able, surely I would have taken Aislinn as me wife straightaway without any further hesitation. Yet I deemed it more important to show strength and do right by her as I had vowed. And as I still had two years remaining on me apprenticeship, I was compelled to wait. At the time, those surely were the longest years of me existence.

  During that prolonged time, our love, as well as our passions grew ever stronger. Never did she cease to display to me the extent of her passion.

  Aislinn was a full-fledged woman, of that there was no denying. Many a time did she attempt to persuade me to consummate our love. And did I ever long to!

  Yet always, much to her frustration, I declined her advances, in the guise of upholding her virtue. “Wait ‘til our wedding day we must,” I would tell her.